I stood there at the window watching her board the plane, and hoped this wouldn’t be the last time I saw her.  I was well aware that she was struggling with money and Malibu wasn’t a cheap place. 

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1 MONTH PRIOR

              “You can stay with me Finn,” I exclaim to her in a desperate tone.
    “You live in a 1 bedroom apartment with one other person.” She replies, rolling her brown eyes.
    She’s right. I don’t have anymore room for her, but I couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving me. We wouldn’t be able to  make any more memories for the book. I nod my head and offer to go to the beach. She and I knew that this probably wasn’t the best time, but I only had a month to be with her.
    “Of course, I’ll go to the beach with you,”
    I smiled at that. We both understood we didn’t have much time left, and that day we got in my car and drove all over town. We got coffee and found some wet concrete to press our hands into, writing our names and “c. 1992.” Leaving our mark. One day, we’d come back to this and remember all the laughs we had here. We packed as much life into our final month as we could. It was all smiles until the night before I was going to take her to the airport.
    “Are you packed?” I asked grimly.
    “Yes. What’s your problem?” She responded sarcastically. I couldn’t believe her, why was she acting like this? She knew I was devastated.  I couldn’t hold back. With tears in my eyes, I began to yell.
    “You know exactly what my problem is, Finn. You should know better than anyone.”
    “No Alexander, I don’t know what your problem is. Please enlighten me.” She replied calmly. 
    “You know, Finley, I told my mom about you. I told her how much I love you and she was surprised. She didn’t think I was the type to fall in love.”
    She was quiet for an extensive amount of time. I’d never told her I loved her, let alone confessed my feeling to her.  She looked at me with her big puppy dog eyes, knowing she had hurt me.
    “Alex-“
    “Alex what? It doesn’t matter. You’re leaving and I’m taking you to the airport tomorrow and that’s it.” I said angrily.
    She peered into my soul.. I was suddenly sorry, but I couldn’t cave. I picked up my jacket and waved goodbye, closing the door on her and the soon-to-be-empty apartment. I sat in my white Toyota, leaning my head against the wheel. That night, I went to every spot Finley and I had ever gone together. There was one spot that hurt more than the rest: the beach. We’d come here everyday after work swimming, picnicking,  just walking and talking. This beach held my most valuable memories. I wondered how this place would be different if she stayed. I know that wouldn’t happen, but that night, I didn’t care. After a long while, I got back in my car and drove home, crying because we had come to the end of us.
     The next morning, I woke up at 5:45am. I had promised Finn I’d take her to the airport and that’s what I intended to do. I drove 10 minutes to her apartment, and it was obvious she had been crying when she answered the door. She hugged me and we loaded her belongings into my trunk and back seat.  For the 40 minute drive to the airport, we sat in silence.  Once we arrived at LAX, we put her stuff through security and it was time to say our last goodbyes.
    “Finley-"
    I was cut off by a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
    “I’m sorry I acted the way I did last night. I’m stressed about going home.” She said. 
    “It’s fine. I understand.” I replied.
    Over the loud speaker, they called for her flight to head to the gate. This was it. I would no longer be seeing her everyday.
    “Okay, well, this is it, kiddo.” I say hugging her again.
    “I love you, Alex.”
    “I love you too.”
    She walked off. That was it. I wouldn’t see her ever again. We said we’d keep in touch. We never did.

 

    It’s been 6 years since then.  I hear she’s married to some old man locked in a house in Jersey.  Money isn’t an issue for her anymore, and she has four kids.  I wonder if she ever thinks about me, but I know I couldn’t ask that of her. All that remains of us is my own memories, the beach, and two handprints in cement circa 1992. 

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